No one told me marriage would be this hard!!!

My husband, Charles, and I just celebrated 40 years of marriage. We had no premarital counseling, no books recommended to read before marriage and none in the early years of our life together. After graduating from UNC- Chapel Hill, I drove my few belongings back home to Windermere, FL.,to then marry a wild and fun-loving man from West Virginia at  a small yet beautiful wedding at Church of the Messiah in Winter Garden. We honeymooned on Sanibel Island and then borrowed a vehicle to make our way up to Roanoke, VA to begin our life together. Oh how I wish I knew then what I know now!!  These 40 years have been challenging, yet exciting. Loads of laughs and buckets of tears. I've also had to take a hard look at my attitude and behavior towards my husband. God has taught me about forgiveness, grace, choosing my words with wisdom, and how to submit. Because I know firsthand just how difficult it can be for strong, stubborn women to actually live as the Bible teaches I will be blogging tips and recommended books the next few months. This blog begins with becoming a Wife of Wisdom


I. A Wife of Wisdom trusts that God created marriage to be a blessing for her.
 How is that done?
a.     She must entrust herself and her situation to God. 1Peter 3:5 basically calls women to refocus and pray and hope in and to God.  Hebrews 12:2 calls us to “fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith”
b.     We may have to momentarily give up our rights.  Read Philippians 2:5-7
c.      We discern before we speak. Pause is what I often teach. James 3:6  Sometimes, the only weapon we have is our tongue. Yet, once words are spoken you cannot retrieve them. For every negative comment it takes 10 positive words to counter-balance it.  Both husbands and wives need to be better listeners. Try to hear what’s not being said. Watch for non-verbal’s.
d.    Believe in the value God places on her as a wife and mother.  We are uniquely created. Typically we live longer than our husbands (fact sheet) we are the care givers of the family, the nurturers. There is (most of the time) a natural and automatic pursuit of us by our husbands and children.


II.      A Wife of Wisdom keeps her priorities in order.
a.     First priority: the Lord God (Deut. 6:5)  Where is your spiritual eyes—on Christ or on people? Christ has to be our only hope for life and in marriage.  Read I Peter 1:3
b.    Second priority: your husband and yourself (Eph 5:21-24,33)  Order is God then husband (not children)  Don’t forget to care for yourself. Physically, spiritually and emotionally. There will be season’s that this is more difficult than others.
c.     Third priority: rearing children (2Timothy 1:5)
d.    Fourth priority: home (Proverbs 31;20, 27a)
e.     Fifth priority; work, ministry, and other activities




III.           A Wife of Wisdom supports her husband
a.     She helps by avoiding comparison
b.    She helps by showing compassion.
   
IV.            A Wife of Wisdom knows her husband’s needs.
a.     He has a need to trust.
b.    He has vocational needs
c.     He has spiritual needs
d.    He has sexual needs
e.     He has a need for time alone
f.      He has relational needs
g.     He has intellectual needs
h.    He has authoritative needs
* Remember this is a marathon not a sprint.  Give yourself plenty of time and God lots of room to move. Remember He is fighting FOR your marriage more than if the two of you are fighting against each other!
Note* I can say I love my husband more today than the day I married him. The journey is worth it friends. Peace. Buffy

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